Sunday, June 17, 2007

Anglican Incident (Defined)

Since I've used the expression Anglican Incident a few times now, I thought a working definition might be in order:

an·gli·can in·ci·dent

n. a protracted episode involving more than one Anglican and generally characterized by:
  • Increased frequency of mitre sightings in international airports
  • A marked rise in the fog index with off-the-chart use of the words authority, polity, report, and resolution
  • The multiplication of straw people and positions to knock down in a temper when reasonable arguments are otherwise unavailable
  • Cadres of clergy, bloggers, and theologians prowling for enemies (or straw people) to rail against
  • A proliferation in the number of canon lawyers
  • Anglican documents attaining headline status
  • An approaching Lambeth Conference
  • A larger than usual catch of red fish of the herring species
  • Renewed scrutiny over the writings of 16th- and 17th- century theologians, at least one of whom, in the minds of the uninitiated, risks getting confused with prostitution
  • The invocation of the names Spong and Pike often, but not exclusively, in reference to those damned Yanks
  • Obsession over the number of votes, parishes, dioceses, bishops, words in speeches by the Archbishop of Canterbury, and angels dancing on the head of a pin
  • The majority of the laity rolling their eyes and getting on with the business of the Gospel of Jesus Christ
  • Clerical frustration at observing the above
Additional suggestions for this definition are welcome.

2 comments:

Hedwyg said...

Ha! What great definitions! I'll have to ponder to see if I can think of any that aren't on the list. How about things that might cause an Anglican incident... like a global shortage of cucumbers? :-)

Jeffri said...

Hmmm...General Convention could be defined as an Anglican Incident...

Jeffri